I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No subtext here. People are naked.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
