That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
