i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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