Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
