I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i will never coherently bang her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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