I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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