Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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