I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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