i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
