Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
