i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
