it's not cheating when I paid for it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
