We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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