i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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