i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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