a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
