the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
"it" just moved
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
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why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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