A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
