Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
