There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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