Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
