She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
