I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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