You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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