Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
