Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
