you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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