Porn is love you can see.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
