i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
