I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize