I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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