He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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