We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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