i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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