I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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