clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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