What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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