whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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