Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
