nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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