Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
