One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
