please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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