Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
