Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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