I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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