oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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