I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
