You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
