hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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