Just took my morning after pill in the library
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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