windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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