i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Enjoy the penises
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
