She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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