I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
how drunk are you?
Several
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
