I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
