i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
